The End Is Near!

Hello all,

I think you should know the end is near!!!!! That's right, the semester is almost over, and I may escape with all but perfect grades.

It is getting hard for me to stay focused. What a dangerous time to stop thinking about my work. The problem is that I can see the end now, whereas before it was strictly keep your head down and endure because, while you can't see the end now, it is there and it is rumored to be worth it.

But what is so distracting at the end? This isn't so easy to answer, but I will of course try.

First there is my family. I have only seen my brother once in all of five or six months, and that was for thanksgiving, so for about a day and a half. I miss him a lot. I'm not sure if he knows but I love him and he is my hero. Plus my mom and dad. I miss them also. They really are good people, I have always known this. If I happen to have children I will want to raise them the way my parents raised me. I can't think of a greater compliment, except that they have set an example for which I try to model my life after. Really if you haven't met my parents you should. They are funny, and smart, and loving. What more can you ask for?

Then there is the fact that it is Christmas and I get to see all sides of my family.

My mom's side is crazy and fun, and when they tease you they are really saying I love you. It is a bigger side than my dad's side and I wish I had more than one evening with them. I could talk with them for days.

My dad's side is so very loving. Sitting with them is like having one of those big squishy hugs that you never want to leave. It is smaller, but that just means an abundance of quality time. I should mention my aunt (my dad's sister). She is the nicest person I have ever met. I know people say this too much, but I mean it. I have never met anyone so genuinely selfless.

I should explain that I have a third side of the family, my mom's friends from college. We see them just as much, if not more, than my actual family. They love me and I love them. They are crazy and funny and have some of the best stories. I love the example they have given me for friendship.

The second reason is of course friends. This is only a close second because they are so like family these days. I have already stated that I love them and that they mean the world to me. It has been hard being apart from them so any reunion is gladly welcomed. Being with them I feel complete. Any guy who would want to be with me would have to accept that they come with the package. Happiness is watching a movie late at night eating popcorn so close to them.

Thirdly, it's almost Christmas!!! I am not religious but I love the lights and the sense of peace and love. I love the cookies and the look that others get when you give them presents. I hate the redundant music, but oh well you must take the good with the bad.

Finally, no classes. What more could I ask for? No homework or responsibility. No need to get up at 7 on Wednesdays to make it to lab by 8. This may mean I have to go back to work for a bit, but I can deal with that.

See how it is hard to focus? How can they place finals so close to going home? It seems inhuman.

Here are some thoughts that I found in the back of some of my notebooks from throughout the semester and last year. Apparently I get distracted or disgruntled. Oh well.

What is this thing we seek? How shall you define it? By numbers or theories? By words or pictures? And who are you to judge it?
Why do we seek it? Is it to be as others are and tell us to be? Is it for the money? Is it for the love?
What a horrible concept this knowledge must be!

Am I for numbers and theories? Am I for atoms and blood? It is exciting and fun, but do I love it? live for it? Do I love words, history, and the human condition more? Life is full of choices, and I feel I am only guessing.

This has gone on too long! This call in from play, this call for shoes, this call for nice clothes, this call to order, this call for promptness. How can this cruelty be born? How can the sun shine so bright? How can we be made to sit indoors? How can that bell bare to ring? Why must I be here?

This wasn't the design 'he' had in mind. We are supposed to live! not study. We were to be fit and run, not sit and listen.

The snow is coming! Can't you smell it? Our jackets are don'd, our leaves are gone. The only thing left is to cover the world! cover it in silver and white. To wash it clean, to make it shine. The snow is coming! can't you feel it? can't you feel it in your beating heart?

Chickadee in the golden tree, jump from branch to branch. Play and laugh your chickadee laugh. Soon the leaves will quiver, break and fall, leaving you to the cruel world. But you will continue to play in the gold today. Go on without a care for soon the world will lay bare.

Ta Ta