Hello.
Sometimes when I am home I forget for a little bit how magical of a world I live in. Then I wake up from a nap after work and walk outside and it hits me again. This isn't a dorm or an apartment, this isn't a city or anywhere close to it. This is a small town family living in a small neighborhood that is set off in the beauty of the Northwoods of Wisconsin.
Let me paint a picture of what I see when I look around my yard. In my front yard you see the trees curl up and around my driveway and the sun periodically peeks through. Then trees surround my entire yard and you can hardly see the neighbors houses. Mainly it is indescribable because it is the warm cozy feeling of knowing that it is nature that is protecting you.
In my backyard trees line the left hand side and the right hand side is bordered by a fence between my neighbors perfectly manicured lawn and my own. The only way the back of the property is bordered is by water. That lake that I grew up on and have such and affection for. The lake that as a small child I would spend six hours or more swimming and boating and in general splashing around in. My back yard is a small hill the leads down to a small beach house and fire pit with benches around it and a little walk way to the beach. There is a hammock and two docks one for the pontoon boat and other small crafts ( canoes, kayaks, paddle boats, whatever one we have in the water) and one for the speed boat and for tanning and jumping off of. Soon the rafts will be out about 25 meters apart and I will spend my days with friends just lounging on them.
Again it is mainly intangible things that I love about this place. Things like the tree my brother and I used to climb, or the place my old squeaky swing set used to reside, or the part of the Canadian shield that I used to just go to sit and read a book, The place where I got the scar on my leg or the place I got the one on my arm. The stump of the tree that I ran into sledding and sprained my ankle so bad I couldn't walk so my dad went out and simply chopped the tree down. This is the place that my brother and I grew up, played together, fought together, and generally grew to like one another. This is the place that I returned to after every big event in life and I will return to for a long time. This is a place that my friends hang out and that I am comfortable.
As I work on the boat with my dad I get to thinking that this is the kind of life I want for my kids. I want my kids to know that you have to, in general, use hand tools on a boat because then you can be more sensitive and are less likely to break the rusty screws. I want my kids to know what it is to break a sweat on a boat that will bring you so much enjoyment in the future. I want my kids to know how to use tools and to know the great feeling of utter exhaustion after a day of physical labor. I want my kids to know what it is like to run down a hill with your towel tied around your neck so as to pretend they are superman as they jump off the dock and into the water, but also to know later what it is like to fix that dock. I want my kids to know how to drive a boat and have their first driving experience be on their fathers lap when they are three years old on a boat. I want my kids to have the childhood I did because I can't think of a better one, and I think that is the highest complement you can give your parents.
That is all for now.
Ta Ta
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Saturday, June 7, 2008
The new update
Hello,
So for those of you who have yet to figure it out I am in fact home. I am assuming those of you who read this have however actually seen me so that statement was moot.
It is late and I am writing this and thinking about how much I have to discuss and thinking I won't get to all of it. So either this will be long or I will have a few installments over the next few days.
How strange it is to be home. It is a house that you grew up in and that you parents still inhabit. They have rules, and must be asked simple questions that either seem to annoy them or were questions that not even I had to ask myself before. They keep the same beliefs that if I make something it is free for them to eat all of it. This assumption while not totally wrong, leads to me not getting one single bite of a meal that could have fed six. That aside it isn't too bad, at least for me.
Now that I am back I feel I have assumed my old roles of worker, friend, daughter, all around reliable person, etc. This is what helps to make me sometimes ask did it really happen? did I really leave and have a different life? I work in the same place I always worked, I live in the same house and I keep the same friends. I have many friends and it gets hard at times to keep up with all of them but I find it hard to choose between them.
I am a people pleaser, at least a little bit because I don't want to lose a friend. This goes to the extreme of not wanting to lose my ex boyfriend as a friend because he was a friend first. I feel some people take advantage of this and others just take advantage of me. I do notice.
I went to a party tonight. I didn't drink and was an overall good girl. It was so interesting to see some people that I know fairly well get drunk and some people I hardly knew. As I watched one of my friends who knows some of my most embarrassing moments get drunk all I could do was wait for the stories to start. I watched as the guys got more hillbilly and laughed at them as the stumbled everywhere. They will be feeling this nights fun tomorrow morning.
I was so happy I actually got to go to this party though. I almost was forced not to stay out there because I was supposed to work tomorrow morning. I got out of that though. I switched departments and maybe this will help me to feel that this summer is not the same as the last summer. So tomorrow is my first day off in a long time. I plan on getting caught up on the list of things that I need to do. My days are the same. Everyday with little variation. I get up and go to work. When I am done with that I get about a half hour and then I invite some friend over and we just hang out. Then it is to bed. Just put that on repeat. Work consumes my life right now and once I am used to it I will have to find something else.
Well I am off to sleep. More later.
Ta Ta
So for those of you who have yet to figure it out I am in fact home. I am assuming those of you who read this have however actually seen me so that statement was moot.
It is late and I am writing this and thinking about how much I have to discuss and thinking I won't get to all of it. So either this will be long or I will have a few installments over the next few days.
How strange it is to be home. It is a house that you grew up in and that you parents still inhabit. They have rules, and must be asked simple questions that either seem to annoy them or were questions that not even I had to ask myself before. They keep the same beliefs that if I make something it is free for them to eat all of it. This assumption while not totally wrong, leads to me not getting one single bite of a meal that could have fed six. That aside it isn't too bad, at least for me.
Now that I am back I feel I have assumed my old roles of worker, friend, daughter, all around reliable person, etc. This is what helps to make me sometimes ask did it really happen? did I really leave and have a different life? I work in the same place I always worked, I live in the same house and I keep the same friends. I have many friends and it gets hard at times to keep up with all of them but I find it hard to choose between them.
I am a people pleaser, at least a little bit because I don't want to lose a friend. This goes to the extreme of not wanting to lose my ex boyfriend as a friend because he was a friend first. I feel some people take advantage of this and others just take advantage of me. I do notice.
I went to a party tonight. I didn't drink and was an overall good girl. It was so interesting to see some people that I know fairly well get drunk and some people I hardly knew. As I watched one of my friends who knows some of my most embarrassing moments get drunk all I could do was wait for the stories to start. I watched as the guys got more hillbilly and laughed at them as the stumbled everywhere. They will be feeling this nights fun tomorrow morning.
I was so happy I actually got to go to this party though. I almost was forced not to stay out there because I was supposed to work tomorrow morning. I got out of that though. I switched departments and maybe this will help me to feel that this summer is not the same as the last summer. So tomorrow is my first day off in a long time. I plan on getting caught up on the list of things that I need to do. My days are the same. Everyday with little variation. I get up and go to work. When I am done with that I get about a half hour and then I invite some friend over and we just hang out. Then it is to bed. Just put that on repeat. Work consumes my life right now and once I am used to it I will have to find something else.
Well I am off to sleep. More later.
Ta Ta
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