The new update

Hello,

So for those of you who have yet to figure it out I am in fact home. I am assuming those of you who read this have however actually seen me so that statement was moot.

It is late and I am writing this and thinking about how much I have to discuss and thinking I won't get to all of it. So either this will be long or I will have a few installments over the next few days.

How strange it is to be home. It is a house that you grew up in and that you parents still inhabit. They have rules, and must be asked simple questions that either seem to annoy them or were questions that not even I had to ask myself before. They keep the same beliefs that if I make something it is free for them to eat all of it. This assumption while not totally wrong, leads to me not getting one single bite of a meal that could have fed six. That aside it isn't too bad, at least for me.

Now that I am back I feel I have assumed my old roles of worker, friend, daughter, all around reliable person, etc. This is what helps to make me sometimes ask did it really happen? did I really leave and have a different life? I work in the same place I always worked, I live in the same house and I keep the same friends. I have many friends and it gets hard at times to keep up with all of them but I find it hard to choose between them.

I am a people pleaser, at least a little bit because I don't want to lose a friend. This goes to the extreme of not wanting to lose my ex boyfriend as a friend because he was a friend first. I feel some people take advantage of this and others just take advantage of me. I do notice.

I went to a party tonight. I didn't drink and was an overall good girl. It was so interesting to see some people that I know fairly well get drunk and some people I hardly knew. As I watched one of my friends who knows some of my most embarrassing moments get drunk all I could do was wait for the stories to start. I watched as the guys got more hillbilly and laughed at them as the stumbled everywhere. They will be feeling this nights fun tomorrow morning.

I was so happy I actually got to go to this party though. I almost was forced not to stay out there because I was supposed to work tomorrow morning. I got out of that though. I switched departments and maybe this will help me to feel that this summer is not the same as the last summer. So tomorrow is my first day off in a long time. I plan on getting caught up on the list of things that I need to do. My days are the same. Everyday with little variation. I get up and go to work. When I am done with that I get about a half hour and then I invite some friend over and we just hang out. Then it is to bed. Just put that on repeat. Work consumes my life right now and once I am used to it I will have to find something else.

Well I am off to sleep. More later.

Ta Ta