I need some condo time

Hello,

I need to stop. This applies to a lot of things. I need to stop worrying and start relaxing. I need to stop assuming that I can fix everything. I need to stop wanting to fix everything and stop feeling personally invested when things fail. I need to stop thinking about the long term future and focus on now. I need to start breathing, start running, start living.

There is one fatal flaw, I don't know how to do it, and I am to apathetic to change my ways. I hate that I care so much about so much. I shouldn't but I do.

My decision is made and I have told everyone except for one because I am a selfish chicken, or maybe because I don't want to hurt her feelings. There is also this little thing that I am not sure I made the right decision, on a lot of things.

The horrible part is this leads me to think I want/need a drink. I don't always like what I have done after I drink, but the stress relief is still good.

If I had a car I would do what I did in high school. I would just drive. Drive until the weight of the world isn't crashing down. Drive until I have figured things out. Drive until I am out of tears or hatred. Drive until dawn.

I don't get enough sleep. But what is new about that? I am becoming apathetic about my school work and while that isn't new it is possibly bad for me.

I need to stop thinking about the past. It is done and there is no changing what I have done, and what is over.

Be proud. I have gone the entire day without drinking caffeine and this on very little sleep.

This wasn't for anyone else. This was for me. If you feel like it you can talk to me about it (if I post it that is).

Ta Ta